Famously energetic and loved on the standup comedy circuit, George Carlin has left us for the afterlife. Pretty sure he gets into Heaven, but not completely sure. He was 71.

People says, The stand-up comic and author – best known for his groundbreaking routine “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” – reportedly died of heart failure at Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica. (Carlin, who was open about his long struggle with drugs and alcohol, had a history of heart problems, including a previous heart attack.)

Because if you heard me and you aren’t jumping up and down like an untrained dog begging for a treat, then you my friend, are on the wrong side of town. The good news is she looks sloshy. The bad news is, Kristen Bell is a faker! She is “acting” for her latest movie, When In Rome. Hey, look at is like a role playing session. It’s still fun.

More Kristen Bell drunk pictures.

Remember Mary Carey? the pornstar Celebrity Rehab broad? Well, guess what, she, like the rest of life on earth, ages. And this is a big deal why? No idea. She turned 28 in Vegas and gave me yet another reason to propose an important question to my readers: Is Mary Carey attractive? Seriously, she walks the line. It’s like, she’s almost hot, but just not quite there. Whatever, enjoy the warm weekend everyone. Wear sunblock.

More Mary Carey bikini pictures.

The trailer babe of the year may be a packin it up come soon. Wow, I just noticed my WT talk could use some improvement, I may have to head out to the 909 this weekend and drink some Miller Light at a random dive bar. Anyways, Momma Lynne says Britney is most likely heading out of California.

E! Online says, Lynne goes on to say that while her daughter “has spent a majority of her time over the last five years in the state of California,” she only did so out of necessity both in part for her work and “primarily with respect to a custody dispute currently ongoing. Although Britney has owned her house in Beverly Hills for more than a year, she has also owned her Louisiana residence for eight years…Britney still intends to return to Louisiana.”

Ummm…so what does this mean for the papz? Do they move also, or will new ones get an opportunity to spawn? Maybe she isn’t really the big ticket anymore.

Yeah, the interview is great! Oh that interview is so insightful! Lets discuss the interview more, k? Yeah, just kidding, who cares what she has to say? Her boobs are hanging out in this spread. When Giselle Bundchen’s boobs are hanging out, I typically can’t hear her. Actually, I couldn’t hear a fire alarm in a nuclear facility if her boobs were right in front of me. But hey, some of you take pride in reading, so here’s an exert.

Forbes has reported that you made $35 million last year, more than twice as much as any other model in the world.
Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming, Giselle Bundchen’s boobs hanging out.

And that’s by her own accord.

Daily Mail says, An insider tells the Mail Online that Hathaway made the painful decision to end their relationship because of the effects his controversial business dealings could have on her career.
“It’s heartbreaking for her to dump him, and she’s devastated that it’s come to this, but she really didn’t have a choice. His scandals were hurting her reputation.”

And with that, Lindsay Lohan becomes the new Katherine Heigle. I guess it’s trendy to now classify yourself as undeserving. It’s brilliant when you think about it: No pressure to be good. You don’t win because you say, you don’t want to win. How absolutely brilliant is that?

Yeah, lame.

More Lindsay Lohan pictures.

Matthew McConaughey is going to be a dad. This is due to his impregnating Camila Alves. But this doesn’t mean he is going to let the party die down. No last calls in Matthew’s life. Matthew was in Nicaragua picking up hot Central American women and, well, boozing it up.

Star says, “He was acting like an out-of-control 18-year-old,” claims an eyewitness who was at the bar. “He already seemed to be drunk when he arrived alone, and he only got worse from there on. He was putting the make on every woman in his path, throwing his arms around them and trying to kiss them, and trying to dirty-dance with a few out on the floor. But he was a mess, slurring his words and stumbling around.

“A few minutes after he finally left the bar, someone found him searching through a sewage ditch outside. When they asked him what he was doing, he mumbled, ‘I’ve lost my flip-flops!’”

Nothing worse than losing your flip flops. I did this in Cabo last year, man oh man my feet were torched. See, we are kinda one in the same Matt.

The Pussycat Dolls launched their new video, When I Grow Up. I watched the video this morning and can honestly say it made me start growing…..up. Of course, Youtube doesn’t have the video anymore because the Pussycat Dolls had the video removed. Lame. Anyways, there is no sign of Britney Spears, as was previously reported. Be thankful, Britney’s abs just can’t compete.

More Pussycat Dolls pictures.

Amy Winehouse collapsed, which is shocking only if you have been living in a cave that doesn’t possess a Surgeons General Warning. The only shocking news was that her heart is apparently working again. Fortunately, her assistant “assisted” her and got her back to a living breathing human being. BBC News says, Her manager’s assistant was able to stop her falling and Winehouse’s father, Mitch, escorted her to hospital “as a precaution”, the spokesman said. Doctors are unsure as to the cause of the incident and the star may be kept in hospital overnight for observation. The 24-year-old had been signing autographs for Canadian fans who had been waiting outside her house all day, her spokesman said.

She loves meat, and she loves Tony Romo. Clearly there is a difference between the two: Meat is what’s for dinner, Romo is what’s for first round playoff exits while your hot girlfriend takes the blame. Get it? This is Jessica and Tony over the weekend walking through LAX. I am sure they were getting back from Cabo where Tony tore up Margarita and Karaoke night at Squid Row. Ah the life of an overrated Quarterback!